We all know how this saying goes...but lets talk reality. When the CATS away, the MICE have triple the resposibilities. Why triple you say? I am VERY fortunate to have a husband that I am truely partners with, We do most household chores together as well as taking care of the kids, so when he is gone, it REALLY triples my load!. I have a whole new understanding for the lives led by single moms.
I am by no means a "dirty" person. But man I HATE TO clean. Some people just love it, it makes them calm, and soothes them. My sister is like that. Me, I am a pile maker....I make lots of piles. Understand I am NOT a hoarder...but I will pile to "clean" up until it is a little ridiculous and then I CLEAN. Growing up my job was dusting...ugh I hated dusting. My husband has different habits, he is not a neat freak (thank god) but he is a ferocious cleaner. If you know him, you can picture this. As soon has he has it in his head to clean, it is like the energizer bunny on drugs running around the house. Usually he will not speak when he wants to clean, so I am layin around enjoying my Saturday morning, when all of a sudden a wind passes through and it is him cleaning like a mad man. At first I am mad...why would he not ask for help, or announce "lets clean." Totally a guilt thing, but then I realize we only have a small window to do this before the kids need something, so I take the "pick up" and "organize" jobs. Put toys away, pick up kitchen, vacuum a little and yes...DUST...ugh...hate it! We get the job done together.
My husband has deployed three times and has since been gone for days, weeks, or longer at different times. The scenerio is always the same, I have to take care of the house. Kids I can handle...house, ugh! I live a life pretending chores do not exist...I have a wonderful husband that does a lot of it as long as I feed him and make sure he has clean underwear! My world (or bubble) is often popped but it is fun while it lasts (for a couple moments here and there).
Typically my list is:
1. meals, which included shopping, and all lunches for school
2. basic getting kids up ready, and out the door every morning & home
3. laundry
4. Bills and any kind of gifts for friends and family
My husbands list:
1. Dogs (anything attached to it)
2. Trash
3. Bathrooms
4. ANYTHING that needs fixing. (he has redone bathrooms, donebacksplash, LOVES PROJECTS)
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1. House cleaning (besides bathrooms)...he does the heavy stuff (mopping, scrubbing, you know the REAL cleaning)
2. Bedtimes
3. Kids acvtivites
As an impending trip looms, I dread it, I will get all the tempertantrums and all the baths...etc. And worse...the CHORES. The minute he walks out the door a switch goes on. People always say, "I do not know how you do it." My answer is usually, "you just do." That is the way of life I just pick up the missing pieces. I wakeup with the dogs having to go out, feed them, take out the trash, make lunches and quickly try to get dressed. Get kids ready, out the door and pray that I myself remembered to brush my teeth, put on make-up and put on a bra and clean underwear (you laugh but it has happened!) The day continues as normal and then after school the minute we walk in the door everyone needs a snack and a drink, the dogs need to go out and dinner has to be made. Those couple hours and bedtime is usually chaotic but we survive. My goal is to be relaxed sitting in front of the tv by 8 pm with a beer or glass of wine and try not to be sleeping by 8:05. We do ok, everyone misses daddy, including mommy, but we have worked it out and everyone pulls through. I can do it all, well except those bathrooms...I will be honest a quick brush of the toilet is my limit so if you come visit when I am alone, I am giving you fair warning now on that!
I have talked to many military wives that say when their husbands come, how hard the transition can be. She has been doing everything and he just wants to come back to the way things were. Many women do not like this, they have a routine and it takes time for everyone to get "back to normal." Well NOT THIS GIRL! My husband will not have even taken off his shoes and I suddenly have amnesia on where the dog food is, or what day is trash day. I honestly think he wonders how we survive because I so quickly can drop the extra responsibilities like I had no clue how to do them in the first place. I like it this way. I do them when needed, but otherwise, not gonna happen!
There is one chore that I will absolutely NOT learn how to do. I would FIND money somewhere to take care of this chore when my husband is away. I have one friend that this drives her crazy and she will never understand, but I promise you this, you will NEVER find me mowing the lawn. Will not happen, not going to learn. If my dad taught me anything in life, a lawn is a mans haven. SO I will leave that to the man, and not given it a second thought!
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